By David G Maillu
Published May 14, 2023
Dear Myself,
How have you been? Very warm greeting from the heart of myself. It has been such a long time since we sat down together and talked about matters which concern us, me, myself and I. Consequently, we have been living with many misunderstandings about one another.
Unfortunately I have spent so much time thinking about other people with regard to why they always appear to succeed when and where I don’t succeed. I must admit, jealousy has been killing me in big installments particularly when people appear so much better than me. Jealousy tells me good things happen to other people but not me; and that other people appear to make right decisions when I make wrong ones.
I must admit I am always afraid of thinking about myself. I worry deeply about what people think about me, but not what is right to me. I am ashamed of being myself. I feel lost in the forest of myself. That is why if I want to do something, I must go out looking for someone I can imitate. Although I feel so empty from within, I go out swaggering in pretense to make people believe everything is okay with me.
For a long time, I have pitied myself endlessly. I have been asking myself why God makes some people better than others. I think when I try to think, I just think foam and smoke; instead of thinking fire. So, I have stopped thinking and let myself float. From time to time, I stand in the street to admire how people walk confidently as if they know everything. That is not how I walk. When I walk I am not sure of my steps. I feel unsteady and confused. That is why I would rather sit down somewhere and do nothing other than watching people walking confidently going about their business successfully.
So, dear Myself, among ME or I or MYSELF who is the one bullying who and making my life so difficult? Myself, listen, I don’t want to eat dust when people eat good food. I think me, myself and I must sit down for a serious discussion to map the way out.
